


If I risk it all, Will you break my fall?

by Multishipper13



Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Attempted Suicide, Boggarts suck, But also, Dan Howell Needs A Hug, Dan-typical swearing, Doctor Who References, Eventual Fluff, Gryffindor Phil, M/M, Mutual Pining, Pining, Slytherin Dan, Vaguely set in the HP universe, also, but don't worry, he gets hugs, he'll be okay, hurt Dan, in modern times, it all ends okay
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-18
Updated: 2018-03-18
Packaged: 2019-04-04 00:48:15
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,479
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14008503
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Multishipper13/pseuds/Multishipper13
Summary: Dan loves Phil, and Phil loves Dan, but some miscommunications occur. Needless to say, Dan doesn't like bogarts.Or: the time it took me 1.2k words and an HP AU to write a Phan kiss





	If I risk it all, Will you break my fall?

**Author's Note:**

> So here I am again*awkward jazz hands*Well, I have once again proven that I cannot do anything without a certain amount of angst, so be prepared- also, I felt that having Dan swear a bit was in character, despite not being how I usually write, so warning for that, along with attempted suicide- don't worry, everyone's fine- and I want to stress that I don't think that suicide is a laughing matter- for anyone considering it, you are a wonderful person with people who genuinely care about you, even if you don't think so. Also, brace for: pining, kissing, and Doctor Who references, because, well, Doctor Who.

**_This was inspired by an image:_ **

**_If you know who created this piece of phanart, please inform me so I can give proper credit. Thank you._ **

* * *

* * *

 

It was four weeks before the DADA Tournament. Dan Howell stood in a darkened, unused classroom, with a single desk in the middle. On the desk sat a ratty suitcase, latched and locked, but who rattled ominously. Dan took a deep, fortifying breath, preparing himself for what wasin the case.

He hesitantly stepped forward, whispering _"Alohamora!"_ under his breath before leaping back, skittish as a stray cat.

For a second, nothing happened. Then, the shadows in the corners of the room swirled and ran down the walls, like blood dripping down the walls. They coalesced in the middle of the room, in

front of Dan, and shivered for second before-

Phil.

_Philphilphilphil._

It was Phil.

The Gryffindor's usually kind eyes glittered like hard stones, and his normally messy tie and shirt were buttoned immaculately.

He smiled, viscous- _wrongwrongwrong._

Dan raised a shaking hand, gripping his hawthorn wand tightly, and said, as forcefully as possible, _"Riddikulus!"_

Phil tsked disapprovingly. "Now is that any way to treat a friend?"He took a step forward. Dan stepped back, heart jackrabbiting in his chest.

"No, no, no. That won't do at all," Phil murmured, walking forward, forcing Dan into a corner.

 _"Riddikulus!"_ Dan tried again, but this time his voice faltered halfway through.

"Mm, oh. That's interesting," Phil purred, "You love me?"

Dan's face turned ashen, and he froze.

_Nononono!_

"You're pathetic- can't even manage a simple fifth-year spell," Phil continued, "I really regret you, you know? You've wasted so much of my time..."

By now, Dan was shaking, rooted to the spot, mind a torrent of anguish, but he couldn't blame Phil- he'd always known that the smart, handsome, courageous Gryffindor would eventually tire of him- after all, he was a sarcastic, snarky Slytherin. Phil had probably only stayed this long because he was too nice to say anything- in fact, he'd probably only ever talked to Dan out of pity.

"Did you actually ever think I would love a _Moodblood,_ a _Slytherin?"_ Phil sneered.

Dan collapsed onto the ground, clutching his head in his hands, shaking.

Phil knelt next to him. "I can help you end the pain," he whispered, voice lowered to mock-sympathy. "Just hand me your wand and...you won't ever feel the pain again."

Phil pried the wand from his hand, and Dan made no move to stop him.

Phil raised the wand, aiming it at his head and-

The door was hurled open with a _bang!_ Phil levelled his wand at Other-Phil and shouted _"Riddikulus!"_

Other-Phil disintegrated with a shriek- Dan's wand clattering onto the stone floor- sucked back into the suitcase, which locked itself immediately.

Phil knelt down next to Dan and put his arms around his shuddering form, pulling him into a hug. Dan buried his head in Phil's shoulder.

"Shhh," Phil whispered, rubbing his back. For a moment, Dan calmed down before he started panicking- Phil probably heard the entire thing. "It's alright, that was just a boggart. I'm here, it's okay-"

Terror, anger, and hate- hate towards Phil, for pretending that he cared coursed through his veins, and Dan leapt away from Phil as if he'd been burnt by a hot iron.

"Fuck you, you Pureblood prick," Dan yelled, ignoring the look of hurt on Phil's face, grabbing his wand from where it had fallen and bolted out the door, running away.

Away from Phil.

* * *

"I don't know what to do," Phil moped to his potted aloe, "He just- ran away. I can't find him anywhere."

Well, maybe you should just, oh, I dunno, talk to him, his mind suggested, sounding suspiciously like Dan.

"But he's made it clear that he doesn't want to be around me," Phil moaned, and, well. It was true. The only time Phil saw the curly-haired sixth-year Slytherin was during meals, and whenever he tried to approach him, Dan would disappear.

He probably realized that he could do better than me, Phil thought bitterly, Just my luck- I drive off my only friend. The one person I love.

* * *

Dan sat on the edge of the Astronomy tower, feet dangling over the edge. He twirled the hawthorn wand, gazing blankly off into the distance. He missed Phil's warmth- it had always kept him warm, melting the ice, and somehow, he had fallen head over heels for the Gryffindor- for his gentle laughter, the comfortable silence when they sat together in the library, the way his eyes lit up when he smiled, his kind personality.

He felt hollow. The sharp pain in his ribcage right after- the incident- had become an ache after a few days until it had all faded, leaving Dan feeling drained of all emotion.

He hated it.

Maybe he could just.

Fall.

Then, maybe, the pain would go away.

* * *

Phil decided that going outside to take a walk might help him clear his head, give him an idea of how to proceed. He strolled around the castle, staring up at the sky. As he walked out towards the lake, he saw something out of the corner of his eye.

He turned around, eyes widening-

It was Dan, standing on the edge of the Astronomy tower, robes billowing behind him.

For a second, everything froze, and Phil knew exactly what was about to happen.

"Dan!" Phil screamed, and-

Dan fell.

* * *

…/"Dan!"

…/The wind whipped through his hair as he fell, and the ground rushed up to meet him.

…/I'm sorry you had to see this, he thought, before everything went dark./…

Dan gasped, eyes flickering open. Well. That was odd. He didn't think you could open your eyes after you died.

The walls were white, coarse, starched sheets rubbing against his skin, and-

Not dead.

The realization brought up a tumble of emotions- relief, anger, sadness, hope.

He tilted his head to the side, peering around for his glasses, and located them on a small nightstand by the impersonal white infirmary bed, lifting an aching arm to clumsily grab them, sliding them onto his face.

The room swam into focus, and his eyes were drawn to the figure hunched over in the chair, fast asleep.

Phil.

Dan took a moment to appreciate the way the light tumbled softly across Phil's soft, silky hair.

Then he sighed- there was no way to avoid it. Phil and he would have to talk about it, work things out.

All good relationships rely on communication.

Phil stirred, and his eyes began to open.

* * *

Phil opened his eyes, stretching, before he turned his head to look at the bed.

Dan was awake- though he had a few still-healing bruises, and his skin was paler than usual, he was alright.

He was alive.

Phil jumped out of the chair, launching himself at his friend, tears already streaming down his face, and hugged him tightly, buring his head in Dan's shoulder and whispering, "You're okay."

Dan hesitated for a moment before wrapping his arms around Phil.

"Yeah, " he said quietly, "I'm okay."

The two hugged for a few more moments before Dan pulled away. "I'm sorry," he said, "About what I said to you...that was...that was wrong of me- no, it was unacceptable, and I want to apologize."

Phil opened his mouth, about to speak, but Dan barreled on. "I would understand completely if you feel betrayed, if you don't want to forgive me,- hell, _I_ don't want to forgive myself- but I want to at least let you know that I am sorry about what I said."

Dan drew a breath, glad to have gotten that off of his chest.

Phil, on the other hand, was staring at him with an exasperated expression, which puzzled Dan.

"Dan," Phil said slowly, "Do you think that I care for you so little that "betraying" me would make a difference?"

Dan's breath hitched. Does he...?

"You are a moron, Daniel James Howell, if you think so," Phil said fiercely, "You are a wonderful, caring, loyal person, who would never betray their friends- and that is why I love you!" Phil's expression changed to one of horror when he realized what he had said, and he hastily made to leave. Dan, however, heart bursting, grabbed his sleeve.

"You idiot," he chuckled, "I love you too."

"Oh," Phil whispered. "Oh."

"Can I...can I kiss you," Dan asked hesitantly.

"Yes," Phil whispered, and then-

Oh, oh.

It was like falling- falling, and knowing that Phil would always be there to catch him.

"Ahem," someone cleared their throat, and they broke away, blushing like mad.

"If you're done locking lips, I do have a patient to attend to," Madame Vastra said mildly, and ushered Phil away.

 _Later,_ Phil mouthed to him, winking, and Dan could swear he felt his blush blushing.


End file.
